Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.
(Benjamin Franklin)
This is just one of those famous quotes that tends to haunt the reader like some ghostly rottweiler, gnawing away at one’s heels. It just won’t let go of you. Discounting or ignoring it won’t do you a blind bit of good. Of course, that’s because, although brutal, it’s bloody true. It condemns the spinelessness that’s prepared to settle for the specious support of the status quo, or indeed the stupidity of one who plumps for the compromise of a salary cheque for a job one increasingly despises!
I have felt like a songbird in a gilded cage for a long time. The tired old axioms and clichés that say “There’s no way out”, “Life’s shit and then you die”, etc have never troubled me as much as Ben Franklin’s words because they are lies. “Like it or lump it”, “Never, never bite the hand that feeds you”, etc, etc. What’s truly astonishing to me is that it is the rational, common-sense thinkers, the pragmatists, who are content to propagate this philosophy of resignation and self-imposed imaginative impoverishment. And so you find some of the most intelligent, creative people just squandering their entire lives, silently resenting the system without ever really testing the veracity of the ancient creed that keeps them trapped in it. It was ever thus. The Powers-that-be would rather have you believe you have no real choice. You must shut up and surrender your liberty if you want your owner to continue to spoon-feed you through the bars. Take the money and do your share of the work. Just as long as you stay in that safe little cage everything’s gonna be fine.
I’m afraid I’ve accepted this for far too long, and it’s time for me to own up and do something to make old Benjamin- not to mention myself!- proud..
Few of us ever come to realise that the powers conferred upon our employers are entirely illusory. Paper tigers in fact. The only weapon they have when you think about it is their cash. Still they expect dutiful abeyance and respect as they dispense it. The boss had to climb up his/her greasy pole to ‘get where he/she is today’, and even though from the lofty standpoint of expensive ivory towers they may be able to look down on the rest of us, if they have kept a grain of perception they eventually come to the frightening realisation that actually it really wasn’t worth it after all. They have become dead inside. Does God really care about their worldly status? But they can’t be seen to admit that, it would make their life-work utterly meaningless! And so their souls continue to fossilize, and they are damned if they are going to stop now (And of course they will most likely be damned if they don’t!). Anything rather than taking responsibility for their own lives, and taking a chance. They’d much rather you depended on others, just like they do in fact, for money, security and position, relying on others to give you any sense of worth or purpose, always blithely ignoring the still small voice of integrity or moral conviction that whispers the harsh truth. Anything, anything rather do the courageous thing, to stand up and just turn round and say, “Thanks anyway, but no. I choose life,” and walk out on it.
Safety is addictive. It rapidly becomes a greedy monkey for your back. And then it kills you- just like heroin.
I don’t in the end wish to condemn anyone for this addiction. It’s everywhere. For instance, Margaret Morris, our head teacher is doing her job well. She likes me. She gave me a big hug on my first day back! Most of the teachers like her. But her heart isn’t in education really, and she admitted as much to me yesterday. Still she has a nice house and can go to fancy destinations on her holidays. I know how hard it can be to break free of this culture of obedience to a false idea. Especially if you may never have realised it is actually false.
It wasn’t easy, and it’s take me a long time to wake up to this, and then to muster the courage to act on it; but it felt so liberating to walk into Margaret Morris’ office yesterday morning and ‘calmly’ hand in my notice of resignation. I was trembling, with a mixture of fear and excitement, but I knew I was doing the right thing. It was actually thrilling. Just like I was alive again, in fact! She even admitted that she envied my courage, and wished she had the strength of will to do what I had decided to do! A number of other people- Jimmy, Laura, Linda, Suzanne, have reacted in the same way now the news has begun to leak out. I will be missed theyall say, but they are glad I am following my heart. I know they are thinking “I wish I could do that!”
I have resolved to make my mind and my heart fully and wholly congruent as best as I can from this time on I intend to be faithful to the idea of living adventurously, according to my soul’s convictions. This requires guts, integrity and determination. It would have been wrong to wait until I felt desperate, unbearably miserable or angry before I jumped ship, or in fact to do this for any other reason than it is simply the right thing for me to do. To be honest I am no longer confident I am serving others to the best of my capabilities. I have more to offer than being babysitter to boys and girls who don’t want to learn. I am very good at my job, but I could be providing far better service if I were working in a different environment, with those who weren’t constantly needing me to justify why they are doing what they’re doing, but were taking responsibility for their own development. I can no longer permit myself to be enslaved by any one or any thing any more. I hate the idea that I’m cramming these poor kids into mental cages too. And so this means I must cut loose, take responsibility for my own future. I’m an artist, not an educator. There is a huge difference.
I have not made this decision rashly but after much thought and inner searching. I may very well become poor as a result of this decision, and that’s OK-at least I will be me! I’ve never been what might be called a natural rebel, that’s not why I did this. To be honest I haven’t dropped out so that I just fall into another role that’s not really me again. I am doing this because I can be of better service to humanity doing something else, something closer to my heart, something I love. It won’t necessarily be easier- actually the very opposite! It’s bound to be much, much harder), but God and I agree on this.
God makes no guarantees of success, none whatsoever. No, I’m flying blind. All He does guarantee is that He will continue to love me. It’s become paramount to me that I demonstrate how much I love him, and I will do that by trusting His guidance. From this Christmas onward, when I leave the teaching profession for good, after nearly 15years of service, I will be obeying my heart. I want to write; I want to act and direct. I’ve become slow, lazy, old and fat, and it is time I gave myself permission to operate at 100% of my true potential before the curtains are drawn. There can be no turning back now.
I’m 48 years old on Saturday (eek!) and I do not want to look back on a wasted life of disappointment and shirked opportunity. I would hate to be old and in a chair regretting not having given my life’s passion a real try.
“Life”, as Bob Marley says, “is worth much more than gold”.
We’re jammin', Bob.
I have felt like a songbird in a gilded cage for a long time. The tired old axioms and clichés that say “There’s no way out”, “Life’s shit and then you die”, etc have never troubled me as much as Ben Franklin’s words because they are lies. “Like it or lump it”, “Never, never bite the hand that feeds you”, etc, etc. What’s truly astonishing to me is that it is the rational, common-sense thinkers, the pragmatists, who are content to propagate this philosophy of resignation and self-imposed imaginative impoverishment. And so you find some of the most intelligent, creative people just squandering their entire lives, silently resenting the system without ever really testing the veracity of the ancient creed that keeps them trapped in it. It was ever thus. The Powers-that-be would rather have you believe you have no real choice. You must shut up and surrender your liberty if you want your owner to continue to spoon-feed you through the bars. Take the money and do your share of the work. Just as long as you stay in that safe little cage everything’s gonna be fine.
I’m afraid I’ve accepted this for far too long, and it’s time for me to own up and do something to make old Benjamin- not to mention myself!- proud..
Few of us ever come to realise that the powers conferred upon our employers are entirely illusory. Paper tigers in fact. The only weapon they have when you think about it is their cash. Still they expect dutiful abeyance and respect as they dispense it. The boss had to climb up his/her greasy pole to ‘get where he/she is today’, and even though from the lofty standpoint of expensive ivory towers they may be able to look down on the rest of us, if they have kept a grain of perception they eventually come to the frightening realisation that actually it really wasn’t worth it after all. They have become dead inside. Does God really care about their worldly status? But they can’t be seen to admit that, it would make their life-work utterly meaningless! And so their souls continue to fossilize, and they are damned if they are going to stop now (And of course they will most likely be damned if they don’t!). Anything rather than taking responsibility for their own lives, and taking a chance. They’d much rather you depended on others, just like they do in fact, for money, security and position, relying on others to give you any sense of worth or purpose, always blithely ignoring the still small voice of integrity or moral conviction that whispers the harsh truth. Anything, anything rather do the courageous thing, to stand up and just turn round and say, “Thanks anyway, but no. I choose life,” and walk out on it.
Safety is addictive. It rapidly becomes a greedy monkey for your back. And then it kills you- just like heroin.
I don’t in the end wish to condemn anyone for this addiction. It’s everywhere. For instance, Margaret Morris, our head teacher is doing her job well. She likes me. She gave me a big hug on my first day back! Most of the teachers like her. But her heart isn’t in education really, and she admitted as much to me yesterday. Still she has a nice house and can go to fancy destinations on her holidays. I know how hard it can be to break free of this culture of obedience to a false idea. Especially if you may never have realised it is actually false.
It wasn’t easy, and it’s take me a long time to wake up to this, and then to muster the courage to act on it; but it felt so liberating to walk into Margaret Morris’ office yesterday morning and ‘calmly’ hand in my notice of resignation. I was trembling, with a mixture of fear and excitement, but I knew I was doing the right thing. It was actually thrilling. Just like I was alive again, in fact! She even admitted that she envied my courage, and wished she had the strength of will to do what I had decided to do! A number of other people- Jimmy, Laura, Linda, Suzanne, have reacted in the same way now the news has begun to leak out. I will be missed theyall say, but they are glad I am following my heart. I know they are thinking “I wish I could do that!”
I have resolved to make my mind and my heart fully and wholly congruent as best as I can from this time on I intend to be faithful to the idea of living adventurously, according to my soul’s convictions. This requires guts, integrity and determination. It would have been wrong to wait until I felt desperate, unbearably miserable or angry before I jumped ship, or in fact to do this for any other reason than it is simply the right thing for me to do. To be honest I am no longer confident I am serving others to the best of my capabilities. I have more to offer than being babysitter to boys and girls who don’t want to learn. I am very good at my job, but I could be providing far better service if I were working in a different environment, with those who weren’t constantly needing me to justify why they are doing what they’re doing, but were taking responsibility for their own development. I can no longer permit myself to be enslaved by any one or any thing any more. I hate the idea that I’m cramming these poor kids into mental cages too. And so this means I must cut loose, take responsibility for my own future. I’m an artist, not an educator. There is a huge difference.
I have not made this decision rashly but after much thought and inner searching. I may very well become poor as a result of this decision, and that’s OK-at least I will be me! I’ve never been what might be called a natural rebel, that’s not why I did this. To be honest I haven’t dropped out so that I just fall into another role that’s not really me again. I am doing this because I can be of better service to humanity doing something else, something closer to my heart, something I love. It won’t necessarily be easier- actually the very opposite! It’s bound to be much, much harder), but God and I agree on this.
God makes no guarantees of success, none whatsoever. No, I’m flying blind. All He does guarantee is that He will continue to love me. It’s become paramount to me that I demonstrate how much I love him, and I will do that by trusting His guidance. From this Christmas onward, when I leave the teaching profession for good, after nearly 15years of service, I will be obeying my heart. I want to write; I want to act and direct. I’ve become slow, lazy, old and fat, and it is time I gave myself permission to operate at 100% of my true potential before the curtains are drawn. There can be no turning back now.
I’m 48 years old on Saturday (eek!) and I do not want to look back on a wasted life of disappointment and shirked opportunity. I would hate to be old and in a chair regretting not having given my life’s passion a real try.
“Life”, as Bob Marley says, “is worth much more than gold”.
We’re jammin', Bob.
... Shew wa doo wah!
:-)
:-)
1 comment:
Happy Birthday on Saturday Mark! Was going to call you yesterday but got kept behind at work for an eleven hour shift and then straight home for Ben's birthday! Hope you had a lovely evening and will call you in the next few days to catch up...
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