Living Adventurously

I cannot begin to express how enriched I feel knowing I have at long last found my spiritual home in the Society of Friends. It permits me to explore my spirituality unfettered by any petty obligations and meaningless rules, and I love the the sheer thrill of searching for God's will for me without any guilt, or having to adhere to any superstitious, narrow-minded creeds.

Of course, whatever Quakers may say there actually is a ritual to the Sunday worship. There may be no ministers, no liturgy, no bells or smells, yet a basic ritualised form is inherent in the sublime, patient waiting in contemplative silence, periodically resulting in someone speaking and spilling their Inner Light, and then other souls kind of 'riffing' on that theme over the course of the hour. It feels like improv actually, except more spiritual of course, and much more satisfying! It's so incredibly simple, and yet it works so much better than the dreary prescriptive services and catechisms I endured for so many years both as a Catholic and as a Protestant. It happens in the present moment, and it feels infinitely more creative, organic and authentic. It reminds me so much of when I was improvising with Razed Curtain- those rare but exquisite, even graceful times when we'd do the 'Howard' improv and it worked. All the threads brought by the individuals in the ensemble mysteriously weaving, intertwining, connecting (that word again) and against all the odds making coherent sense, while at the same time creating something new and far richer than the sum of all its parts.

The 5 Quaker testimonies: Truth and Integrity, Simplicity, Peace and Justice are manifested in tangible, corporate understanding (conviction actually) that true faith springs from a deeply held belief in living our lives according to ones own spiritual experience. This is vital to me as a person, and as an artist. I no longer have to struggle with the awkward and uncomfortable tensions of tolerating stuff I don't believe in, just because the pope, the archbishop or anyone else tells me I should. I feel I can grow alongside others who will support that growth without interfering, as I support them.

And what was even more exciting for me- and amazingly synchronicitous- was that I discovered just a couple of weeks ago that since the late 1990s hundreds of small 'Experiment with Light' groups have sprung up as part of the Quaker movement all over the UK. These groups were set up in response to Rex Ambler's 1996 book, Light to Live By, which drew pararllels between George Fox's ideas about centering down for silent worship and philosopher Eugene Gendlin's therapeutic technique of Focusing, a practice I have been using in my own inner work for the past 16 years. This was to me an unmistakeable sign from God that I had at long last found my spiritual home. Discovering this had the feeling and quality of a perfectly appropriate gift from the Divine, more than i'd even dare pray for. A miracle actually! I feel so abundantly blessed, unspeakably thankful to Him for this, my heart keeps leaping for joy when I think of it!

Since I joined two months ago I have been deeply enriched by meditating on the 42 "Advices and Queries" which begin Quaker Faith and Practice. These Advices and Queries are not laid down as rules ("... For the letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life."), but are really a guide, a reminder of how we might transform our lives "with a measure of light which is pure and holy".

And my favourite one makes me feel so ... I don't know...inspired, so liberated, saved I guess!

It speaks to the very heart of where I am right now, and it reads thus:

"Live adventurously. When choices arise, do you take the way that offers the fullest opportunity for the use of your gifts in the service of God and the community? Let your life speak."

(Advices and Queries, 1:27)

Isn't that just so cool!! :-)