The date and time of my audition for RSAMD.
I was never any good at keeping secrets about myself, even though in this case it might be more politic to keep shtum and so avoid the embarrassment afterwards of having to tell everyone I didn't get in. But that's me.
It'll be a very important day; not just because a part of me still craves endorsement and validation (I fervently pray I was more secure and confident about what I do), but because I have for all my adult life harboured ambitions of receiving formal practical training. My untutored talents, such as they are, deserve critical attention and proper training. Looking to the Academy for these things- especially at my age and CV- is a bit pathetic, a measure of my neediness perhaps, but that's what crave. I can't deny it. My confidence has always been low (It's been VERY low of late.) I feel neglected-stuck and left behind somehow. I want to prove to myself and the rest of the world that I and my gfts are worthy of attention.
I really need to get my head sorted, and stop beating myself up for all my failings- both real and imagined.
2 comments:
I will be thinking of you on Thursday! I hope it goes really well and be good to yourself in the meantime XXX
Cheers, Sarah. I will, as they say, let you know :-) Mark x
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