"I am certain of nothing but of the holiness of the heart's affections and the truth of the imagination. What the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth - whether it existed before or not - for I have the same idea of all our passions as of love: they are all, in their sublime, creative of essential beauty ... O for a life of sensations rather than thoughts." John Keats
A fortnight to go before we open. Eek! And it’s all come around so quickly. Christina and her army of set builders along with the cast and other crew will be coming in for the get-in on Sunday lunchtime, hammering, screwing, bracing and gluing. Ursula- a reformed character apparently- will be hanging our lights; Alan will operate sound (and although this is likely to make our cue-to-cue tech run drag on twice as long as it should, he’s solid and reliable fella and I know we’ll be able to trust him). Lighting desk duties will have to be shared between Karen Barclay and Francesca (at last a genuine Tally is a part of this production!!). Sandra, now back from her holiday in New York, and Lorraine, now finished with working for Susan’s White House Murders, will be rummaging in the Ramshorn store and various second hand shops over the next ten days ferreting out 40’s and 50’s hats, bags and costumes. It’ll be thrilling to see it all come together. Debbie has managed to source gas masks and old ginger boxes. Karen’s sister had two or three cornettis to choose from for the Bridget character. Debs and Linzi are doing a fabulous job as the stage management team too. And I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to learn Robert has a contact that can run up a set of Pedreschi logo white aprons for the cast. Dee is being a very patient jive choreographer- great to see her at work with Hughie and Lucia on the Blue Suede Shoes jive sequence. And of course India, my ‘glam assistant’, - although she is busy rehearsing Bruce’s radio dramas this week and won’t be with us again until Sunday- has been real pillar of strength, managing all the rehearsal scheduling, emailing and phoning round and all the general spade work I have neither the time nor inclination for. But in the end it will be the actors who will make this piece really fly. Yesterday the hair and make-up lady, Sharon, came into rehearsal to see a run-through of Act 1 for the first time. She hadn’t read the play and actually knew nothing about it at all. By the end of the first half she was sobbing her little heart out! God knows what she’ll be like when she sees what happens in Act 2! She didn’t strike me as the soppy type, but this is a very sentimental, heart-warming play, and it’s a great relief to know that it is not just India, the stage management team or myself it has this effect on. You’d have to be an extremely hard-hearted bastard not to be moved to tears by it I think.
I'm really looking forward to seeing it with the audiences. Everyone who has worked on this deserves it to be a really wonderful success.
:-)
Monday, 27 October 2008
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Tally's Blood 4
.
I spent all of yesterday compiling the sound and music CDs. With some research and with Sarah’s kind help I’ve managed to compile a really nice aural accompaniment to the action. Music and sound effects are such key elements to creating atmosphere and nostalgia in this , and I think it will really add an extra dimension to the run on Monday. I'll ask Linzi to operate the deck.
The acting performances continue to grow- inevitably some faster than others, but with just under 4 weeks to go until we open I am feeling delighted with the progress we've already made.
Karen, Jennifer 1, Michael, John, and David are all now completely off-book. Jennifer 2 (Lucia) lags behind slightly the rest- but forgivably, as she has been busy performing in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest this past fortnight, and has only been able to attend weekend rehearsals for Tally’s Blood. However she is so well cast, even though I do say so myself, and is charming and very believable, even as a 5-11 year old girl in Act 1. Throughout the play, her relationship with Michael’s Hughie is very sweet but never remotely sickly, and it’s beautifully but effortlessly modulated. Michael too has invented some delectable little details for Hughie. It’s never laboured or over-stated though, and along with Jennifer 2 he is adding more and more delicately understated but highly effective physical and vocal touches to his characterisation. The audience will really connect with his character.
The only member of the cast I remain slightly concerned about at this stage is Robert (Massimo). Having had the pleasure of working with him on several previous occasions I know he will eventually find it, but Massimo is outside his usually playing range, and he is floundering a bit right now. Massimo needs to be comic, light, touching and warm. Robert seems disinclined or unable to learn the lines, and appears ill at ease with his own work. Of course, he has other things on his mind, having discovered last Monday that he’s unlikely to be able to continue with the university course he was so enjoying because he has been refused student loans- in which case maybe it’s perfectly understandable he comes in looking preoccupied and weighed down by stuff. The trouble is his current disposition really doesn’t go with the optimistic and spirited Massimo at all. I really want Robert to get much more fun out of Massimo, if only to make up for the shittiness of his own life outside rehearsal. I was relieved to see that it appeared to make a perceptible difference to his work the other night when I directed him to look for opportunities in the script to smile more. When Robert relaxes he radiates such warmth, but then he’ll relapse into melancholy again just when the scene needs another hearty injection of cheeriness. Robert still appears nervous and uneasy- ungrounded- as he constantly transfers his weight (Standing or sitting- he looks, quite literally, shifty!), and isn’t really finding a true fit with this avuncular, jolly character of whom it is said repeatedly everybody likes. It may just be he isn’t used to playing comedy, but he definitely comes across as too dejected and down-in-the-dumps for the positive archetype Massimo is meant to personify. Robert has shown me his Psychological Gesture of expansiveness for his character and it's very close to what I want from him, but I intend to have him explore and develop it further by irradiating it with a range of qualities such as Joy, Largesse, Honesty, Sunshine, Passion and Mirth. I do love working with him though. He has such a dry and sardonic wit, a smokescreen for a sensitive, kind and magnanimous nature. He buys us all sweets and biscuits and who wouldn’t love him for that ? :-)
Jennifer, as Bridget Devlin, is just great to work with. She takes direction so well. She is like an acting sponge, soaking up everything I suggest to her, and so delighted when I suggest certain nuances which she eagerly incorporates with subtle facial expressions that transmit many-levelled, emotional complexity and insight. How satisfying she is obviously thinking deeply about and working so hard on developing her part away from rehearsal. She has such sound creative instincts, and she absolutely loves her part. She’s just a real pleasure to work with. I can’t wait to see the scenes she has with Rosinella when they are performed in front of the full houses because I know the predominantly young audiences will really connect with Bridget’s tragic emotional trajectory. Jennifer makes her journey compelling.
John is also doing good work as Franco. What John lacks in experience he more than makes up for in stage charm and good looks. He too is an eager student. I do wish he was a better singer and dancer, but then the schoolgirls in the audience are going to love him anyway. He reminds me of a young Paul McCartney to look at. He needs to articulate with slightly more care and project his voice more in the intimate scenes with Bridget.
David has made Luigi his own and his comic timing of the scene with him, Rosinella and Hughie in Italy is a delight. Each time they run it now they find something to add that makes me laugh more. It’s one of my favourite scenes in the play, and I never expected it to entirely work when I first read it. David has the opposite problem to John in that he tends to over-project, but he takes direction well and I am confident that he will have adjusted this the next time he is in rehearsal.
Oh and then of course there’s Karen. What can I say? I may be biased but I love being able to work with my wife again- for the first time in about a decade I think. Accusations of favouritism and nepotism from those who auditioned for the part of Rosinella and didn’t get it will prove utterly, utterly groundless. She is so very funny in the role. She manages to balance Rosinella’s ugly and unattractive qualities and attitudes with a cathartic, livid energy that is actually very satisfying to watch. It seems odd to say this but this Rosinella’s actually at her most loveable when she is her most bitter, twisted and racist! Her hybrid Glaswegian-Italian accent is perfect. Her timing is just wonderful. I cannot tell you how relieved and delighted I am she agreed to play the role for me, and how fantastic it is to know she is having such an enjoyable time. I hope that directors and agents will come and see her in this and finally give her natural talent the chance to flourish in other leading roles. She amazes me with how she manages to make it look so easy and effortless.
I still don’t have a costume or a lighting designer, or any technical operators for the desk. We are also short of folk to build Christina’s set. These issues are starting to concern me a little, but it will come together, it always does. We have a production meeting on Sunday.
I can’t wait to see its effect on audiences. We have made such astonishingly rapid progress I have to trust we haven’t peaked too early! It’s very early days perhaps, but I think we may just have a hit on our hands! I am to say the least very, very proud of what we are doing.
I spent all of yesterday compiling the sound and music CDs. With some research and with Sarah’s kind help I’ve managed to compile a really nice aural accompaniment to the action. Music and sound effects are such key elements to creating atmosphere and nostalgia in this , and I think it will really add an extra dimension to the run on Monday. I'll ask Linzi to operate the deck.
The acting performances continue to grow- inevitably some faster than others, but with just under 4 weeks to go until we open I am feeling delighted with the progress we've already made.
Karen, Jennifer 1, Michael, John, and David are all now completely off-book. Jennifer 2 (Lucia) lags behind slightly the rest- but forgivably, as she has been busy performing in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest this past fortnight, and has only been able to attend weekend rehearsals for Tally’s Blood. However she is so well cast, even though I do say so myself, and is charming and very believable, even as a 5-11 year old girl in Act 1. Throughout the play, her relationship with Michael’s Hughie is very sweet but never remotely sickly, and it’s beautifully but effortlessly modulated. Michael too has invented some delectable little details for Hughie. It’s never laboured or over-stated though, and along with Jennifer 2 he is adding more and more delicately understated but highly effective physical and vocal touches to his characterisation. The audience will really connect with his character.
The only member of the cast I remain slightly concerned about at this stage is Robert (Massimo). Having had the pleasure of working with him on several previous occasions I know he will eventually find it, but Massimo is outside his usually playing range, and he is floundering a bit right now. Massimo needs to be comic, light, touching and warm. Robert seems disinclined or unable to learn the lines, and appears ill at ease with his own work. Of course, he has other things on his mind, having discovered last Monday that he’s unlikely to be able to continue with the university course he was so enjoying because he has been refused student loans- in which case maybe it’s perfectly understandable he comes in looking preoccupied and weighed down by stuff. The trouble is his current disposition really doesn’t go with the optimistic and spirited Massimo at all. I really want Robert to get much more fun out of Massimo, if only to make up for the shittiness of his own life outside rehearsal. I was relieved to see that it appeared to make a perceptible difference to his work the other night when I directed him to look for opportunities in the script to smile more. When Robert relaxes he radiates such warmth, but then he’ll relapse into melancholy again just when the scene needs another hearty injection of cheeriness. Robert still appears nervous and uneasy- ungrounded- as he constantly transfers his weight (Standing or sitting- he looks, quite literally, shifty!), and isn’t really finding a true fit with this avuncular, jolly character of whom it is said repeatedly everybody likes. It may just be he isn’t used to playing comedy, but he definitely comes across as too dejected and down-in-the-dumps for the positive archetype Massimo is meant to personify. Robert has shown me his Psychological Gesture of expansiveness for his character and it's very close to what I want from him, but I intend to have him explore and develop it further by irradiating it with a range of qualities such as Joy, Largesse, Honesty, Sunshine, Passion and Mirth. I do love working with him though. He has such a dry and sardonic wit, a smokescreen for a sensitive, kind and magnanimous nature. He buys us all sweets and biscuits and who wouldn’t love him for that ? :-)
Jennifer, as Bridget Devlin, is just great to work with. She takes direction so well. She is like an acting sponge, soaking up everything I suggest to her, and so delighted when I suggest certain nuances which she eagerly incorporates with subtle facial expressions that transmit many-levelled, emotional complexity and insight. How satisfying she is obviously thinking deeply about and working so hard on developing her part away from rehearsal. She has such sound creative instincts, and she absolutely loves her part. She’s just a real pleasure to work with. I can’t wait to see the scenes she has with Rosinella when they are performed in front of the full houses because I know the predominantly young audiences will really connect with Bridget’s tragic emotional trajectory. Jennifer makes her journey compelling.
John is also doing good work as Franco. What John lacks in experience he more than makes up for in stage charm and good looks. He too is an eager student. I do wish he was a better singer and dancer, but then the schoolgirls in the audience are going to love him anyway. He reminds me of a young Paul McCartney to look at. He needs to articulate with slightly more care and project his voice more in the intimate scenes with Bridget.
David has made Luigi his own and his comic timing of the scene with him, Rosinella and Hughie in Italy is a delight. Each time they run it now they find something to add that makes me laugh more. It’s one of my favourite scenes in the play, and I never expected it to entirely work when I first read it. David has the opposite problem to John in that he tends to over-project, but he takes direction well and I am confident that he will have adjusted this the next time he is in rehearsal.
Oh and then of course there’s Karen. What can I say? I may be biased but I love being able to work with my wife again- for the first time in about a decade I think. Accusations of favouritism and nepotism from those who auditioned for the part of Rosinella and didn’t get it will prove utterly, utterly groundless. She is so very funny in the role. She manages to balance Rosinella’s ugly and unattractive qualities and attitudes with a cathartic, livid energy that is actually very satisfying to watch. It seems odd to say this but this Rosinella’s actually at her most loveable when she is her most bitter, twisted and racist! Her hybrid Glaswegian-Italian accent is perfect. Her timing is just wonderful. I cannot tell you how relieved and delighted I am she agreed to play the role for me, and how fantastic it is to know she is having such an enjoyable time. I hope that directors and agents will come and see her in this and finally give her natural talent the chance to flourish in other leading roles. She amazes me with how she manages to make it look so easy and effortless.
I still don’t have a costume or a lighting designer, or any technical operators for the desk. We are also short of folk to build Christina’s set. These issues are starting to concern me a little, but it will come together, it always does. We have a production meeting on Sunday.
I can’t wait to see its effect on audiences. We have made such astonishingly rapid progress I have to trust we haven’t peaked too early! It’s very early days perhaps, but I think we may just have a hit on our hands! I am to say the least very, very proud of what we are doing.
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
Love and Giving
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not Love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not Love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not Love, it profiteth me nothing."
(1 Corinthians 13)
I have not written here for a while . My spirit has been hibernating I think, plus I have been busy of course with rehearsals for Tally's Blood.
What follows is really going to be just a vomited random stream of consciousness, maybe a sort of prayer, a snapshot of where my mind/heart/soul is 'at' right now. It's no doubt heavily influenced by my reading of Carolyn Myss' Entering the Castle and Anatomy of the Spirit, James Hollis' The Middle Passage, lots of poetry and of course Michael Chekhov.
Choosing to follow the Light does not mean you will be able to avoid darkness, but you must never seek the darkness or go out of your way to suffer just so you can either learn, or even unlearn. The way of light is the one that will lead to your ultimate goal. If you are in darkness it may well not be your fault; and yet, on the other hand, it might be! This is for you to pray about- but there are always choices available. Those choices are best made in the quietude of contemplation, that's all. You are alive, ergo you will suffer pain- it's absolutely unavoidable. Accept that, and carry on. This might scare you, but you must face it down. Carolyn Myss has made me realise that sometimes I do attract suffering and chaos into my life as a way of getting personal space- illness comes, separation from what I love, feeling blocked etc. But this is the way life and God teaches compassion- in the grace of solitude that suffering brings with it, for even loneliness is not without its subtle gifts and blessings and opportunities. And remember you always survive and cope. Always. Fear is, in time, transformed to joy. You eventually accept the lesson with grace and move on stronger, wiser and more compassionate than before into new life. "Be patient, be patient," He whispers. "Wait, just wait; and listen... Just listen."
I often get an image of God, where He is holding me with a tenderness and intense energy that wants to squeeze me tight like a tiny baby but must handle me so very gently as he tells me how beloved I am, treasured beyond measure. Love streams toward you constantly and you remain completely oblivious and unaware of it most of the time! Any self-blame, blame of others, irritation and hatreds, any criticism of yourself or others- spoken or unspoken is nothing to do with your divinely created soul or God. It is only ego. Resist it.
The thing about the greatest artists is that they were not- as they are so often caricatured- narcissistic, jealous, vindictive, egotistical, vain, attention-seeking monsters. Van Gogh, William Blake, Michael Chekhov, Emily Bronte, Shakespeare, Rembrandt; these individuals were full of love, of kindness, the quintessence of disciplined and altruistic devotion, surrendering their entire selves to something far far greater than mere self. Acceptance, fulfillment, nurturing affection were their predominant characteristics.
Most of them suffered unbearably, and endured such rejection and prejudice and ignorance but it never was used as excuse to say- "OK, I'm not going to do this any more; just let me teach for South Lanarkshire Council..."! No, they felt compelled to give, give, give the only way they knew how. You choosing NOT to emulate them, is egoistic because it is false humility. If you are not aiming to do the same as them then you have no real right to call yourself an artist. It would be a denial of God's perfect vision for you. These artists' connection to the divine was so deeply embedded in their natures that they never wanted for anything else but to remain connected to their Source. And the more they tried to empty themselves the fuller they became- like eternal spring of the sweet water of divine love- bubbling up to the surface and still doing so generations after they left us. You want this too.
We are all potentially just as capable of creating the same exquisite beauty as these geniuses in many unique ways .
Your mission (should you decide to accept it!) is to unlearn all the habits and the obstructions you have put in your way and forgive yourself in order to achieve oneness with your Source again.
Yes, passionate devotion to Truth represents the highest attitude to adopt for your acting, teaching and directing at this time. And agape is the best way to upgrade this energy to an ever-higher vibration. Look to nature, look to the heart-truths of what that teaches you. Take time to meditate carefully on it, not at a superficial level but at a deeper spiritually-connected level. Never just go by appearances but allow the imagination to really work with it and see that the process of creation is everywhere in the sights, sounds and even smells of nature and how God constantly feeds your own understanding of the artistic process through it. If you can't feel Him or sense Him then you need to clean your glasses! Nature reconnects you to your divine source- the trees in the park and the flowers, the grass, the birds, the insects, the animals, the earth all talk. Put your roots into the soil and draw up energy from the heart of the earth beneath you. Breathe in the sky and realise how richly blessed you truly are. It will always give you what you are looking for whenever you may feel blocked, or if God should seem absent or far away today. Nature is a gift that will keep on giving. Prise your heart open wider. Wider! Dwell on nature's beauty, its power and majesty; its holiness. Its preciousness and infinite intricacy, its patterns of perfection and plurality are sublime teachers. A kaleidoscopic symphony of colours, hues, sounds, a symphony of odours and textures surrounds you at all times. See it as God might see it and know that He's in charge of all of it, and it's all there to be inherited by you in any given instant. Ask yourself then,” Why would He not be able to find you and help you create with Him if He can do all this?" He hasn't left you stranded: He's always with you. Let Him meet you wherever you are. Succumb and be ravished by the verdant, fecund majesty all around you. Breathe it in deep, until you are one with it; until it and your Source are one with you.
Then go back to the work, fully renewed.
A prepared actor becomes surrounded by a radiant aura, invisible to the naked eye but sensed by the intuitive and the attuned spectator. This aura bathes the actor in a charisma, an energy that electrifies and thrills us. It comes from being present, fully present in the moment, in a state of grace and readiness to give- to keep on giving- in Love.
But as an actor you often find it difficult to sustain full connection. Moreover, the search for a formula that will fill in the missing pieces will remain a fruitless one until you acknowledge that you actually have the ability to heal yourself if only you will take authority in your own life, have the courage to follow what your inner voice is telling you moment by moment. You have finally heard your still inner voice say to you, “Get some acting training”, after opting not to listen for such a long time because you didn’t want to have to put your teaching career on hold and spend money learning from someone else. You chose to block out the voice within because it meant accepting a daunting, humbling challenge, being led away from the beaten track, requiring the difficult admission of uncertainty- “I don’t know this… I need some help… I am lost… I'm scared.” Your pride and laziness are always wrapped up in very 'reasonable' excuses. But reason, reason, reason cannot- cannot- produce miracles! Reason cannot comprehend, still less produce moments of sublime beauty and grace. It is no match and certainly no substitute for the irrational power and immensity of Love to create new worlds, or to usher in the age of the Ideal Theatre. You need to give up the blaming, the questionings, the shaming, the denial, the excuses, the human neediness that characterises the egoic response to failure. It is now time to unseat reason (and when I say this I don’t mean just choose to be reckless- not that kind of UNreason!), and allow God to be your guide and compass. You must cede control and allow reason to step aside, and so discern what the heart of God is communicating to you. And then just do it. To the vast majority of people this is just madness, but to a true artist it is the only way. Genius has the guts to follow and obey the inner voice. In years to come the reasons for the guidance given may become clear, but for now it is vital just to trust that you know the direction you must walk, but not your destination. Otherwise you will die here waiting to be given a map that will never materialise. Keep moving in the direction God is pointing you to go, and trust that eventually you will find life and the living springs once more.
The other voice that complains and whinges to God- “You owe me. I did this for you… I did my exercises, studied for years, I learned my lines... I prayed to be able to serve you to the best of my ability… I love you, therefore you owe me” will keep you wandering in circles. You harbour the unconscious expectation that God has to be reasonable, that as long as you give Him what he asks of you you are entitled to something back. No. Your duty to God is to serve him no matter what the price, and to be willing to keep on giving, giving, giving until you're empty. His perfect wisdom has something to teach you in the anticipated desert experience, but you will not learn that lesson as long as you continue looking only for the answers in places you have already been. "I need Equity minimum... I deserve star billing... I deserve to hit that rich vein of inspiration after all the vocal exercises and meditation, prayer and Psychological gesture work I’ve done..." No. NO. Miracles are not 'fair' and certainly not reasonable!
But it’s time to grow up and just accept that life is never fair. You are not a character in a fairy tale, but never be ashamed of your calling, your vocation. You are a son of God. Give all of yourself to radiating compassion and devotion to your Source. There is no room now for yielding to fear or doubt anymore. Acting at its best replaces fear with love; judgment with compassion; separation with unity. That is your calling as an artist, and is perhaps a good definition of your deep soul purpose as a teacher and writer too. This is a very profound form of healing, and it is best achieved when you call upon the Higher Self. love transforms, love liberates and inspires, love enters into the object of its love and sees deeply, love forgives, it vindicates and encourages, it absolves and blesses us and its object. It turns its object into a thing of beauty.
Juliette Binoche, interviewed on TV last night by Alan Yentob immediately following her first night performance (alongside the Bangladeshi dancer Akram Khan) of In-I at the National Theatre, was asked if she could sum up her feelings about the work. She replied, “It’s all about giving. Love and giving.”
Uh huh.
(1 Corinthians 13)
I have not written here for a while . My spirit has been hibernating I think, plus I have been busy of course with rehearsals for Tally's Blood.
What follows is really going to be just a vomited random stream of consciousness, maybe a sort of prayer, a snapshot of where my mind/heart/soul is 'at' right now. It's no doubt heavily influenced by my reading of Carolyn Myss' Entering the Castle and Anatomy of the Spirit, James Hollis' The Middle Passage, lots of poetry and of course Michael Chekhov.
Choosing to follow the Light does not mean you will be able to avoid darkness, but you must never seek the darkness or go out of your way to suffer just so you can either learn, or even unlearn. The way of light is the one that will lead to your ultimate goal. If you are in darkness it may well not be your fault; and yet, on the other hand, it might be! This is for you to pray about- but there are always choices available. Those choices are best made in the quietude of contemplation, that's all. You are alive, ergo you will suffer pain- it's absolutely unavoidable. Accept that, and carry on. This might scare you, but you must face it down. Carolyn Myss has made me realise that sometimes I do attract suffering and chaos into my life as a way of getting personal space- illness comes, separation from what I love, feeling blocked etc. But this is the way life and God teaches compassion- in the grace of solitude that suffering brings with it, for even loneliness is not without its subtle gifts and blessings and opportunities. And remember you always survive and cope. Always. Fear is, in time, transformed to joy. You eventually accept the lesson with grace and move on stronger, wiser and more compassionate than before into new life. "Be patient, be patient," He whispers. "Wait, just wait; and listen... Just listen."
I often get an image of God, where He is holding me with a tenderness and intense energy that wants to squeeze me tight like a tiny baby but must handle me so very gently as he tells me how beloved I am, treasured beyond measure. Love streams toward you constantly and you remain completely oblivious and unaware of it most of the time! Any self-blame, blame of others, irritation and hatreds, any criticism of yourself or others- spoken or unspoken is nothing to do with your divinely created soul or God. It is only ego. Resist it.
The thing about the greatest artists is that they were not- as they are so often caricatured- narcissistic, jealous, vindictive, egotistical, vain, attention-seeking monsters. Van Gogh, William Blake, Michael Chekhov, Emily Bronte, Shakespeare, Rembrandt; these individuals were full of love, of kindness, the quintessence of disciplined and altruistic devotion, surrendering their entire selves to something far far greater than mere self. Acceptance, fulfillment, nurturing affection were their predominant characteristics.
Most of them suffered unbearably, and endured such rejection and prejudice and ignorance but it never was used as excuse to say- "OK, I'm not going to do this any more; just let me teach for South Lanarkshire Council..."! No, they felt compelled to give, give, give the only way they knew how. You choosing NOT to emulate them, is egoistic because it is false humility. If you are not aiming to do the same as them then you have no real right to call yourself an artist. It would be a denial of God's perfect vision for you. These artists' connection to the divine was so deeply embedded in their natures that they never wanted for anything else but to remain connected to their Source. And the more they tried to empty themselves the fuller they became- like eternal spring of the sweet water of divine love- bubbling up to the surface and still doing so generations after they left us. You want this too.
We are all potentially just as capable of creating the same exquisite beauty as these geniuses in many unique ways .
Your mission (should you decide to accept it!) is to unlearn all the habits and the obstructions you have put in your way and forgive yourself in order to achieve oneness with your Source again.
Yes, passionate devotion to Truth represents the highest attitude to adopt for your acting, teaching and directing at this time. And agape is the best way to upgrade this energy to an ever-higher vibration. Look to nature, look to the heart-truths of what that teaches you. Take time to meditate carefully on it, not at a superficial level but at a deeper spiritually-connected level. Never just go by appearances but allow the imagination to really work with it and see that the process of creation is everywhere in the sights, sounds and even smells of nature and how God constantly feeds your own understanding of the artistic process through it. If you can't feel Him or sense Him then you need to clean your glasses! Nature reconnects you to your divine source- the trees in the park and the flowers, the grass, the birds, the insects, the animals, the earth all talk. Put your roots into the soil and draw up energy from the heart of the earth beneath you. Breathe in the sky and realise how richly blessed you truly are. It will always give you what you are looking for whenever you may feel blocked, or if God should seem absent or far away today. Nature is a gift that will keep on giving. Prise your heart open wider. Wider! Dwell on nature's beauty, its power and majesty; its holiness. Its preciousness and infinite intricacy, its patterns of perfection and plurality are sublime teachers. A kaleidoscopic symphony of colours, hues, sounds, a symphony of odours and textures surrounds you at all times. See it as God might see it and know that He's in charge of all of it, and it's all there to be inherited by you in any given instant. Ask yourself then,” Why would He not be able to find you and help you create with Him if He can do all this?" He hasn't left you stranded: He's always with you. Let Him meet you wherever you are. Succumb and be ravished by the verdant, fecund majesty all around you. Breathe it in deep, until you are one with it; until it and your Source are one with you.
Then go back to the work, fully renewed.
A prepared actor becomes surrounded by a radiant aura, invisible to the naked eye but sensed by the intuitive and the attuned spectator. This aura bathes the actor in a charisma, an energy that electrifies and thrills us. It comes from being present, fully present in the moment, in a state of grace and readiness to give- to keep on giving- in Love.
But as an actor you often find it difficult to sustain full connection. Moreover, the search for a formula that will fill in the missing pieces will remain a fruitless one until you acknowledge that you actually have the ability to heal yourself if only you will take authority in your own life, have the courage to follow what your inner voice is telling you moment by moment. You have finally heard your still inner voice say to you, “Get some acting training”, after opting not to listen for such a long time because you didn’t want to have to put your teaching career on hold and spend money learning from someone else. You chose to block out the voice within because it meant accepting a daunting, humbling challenge, being led away from the beaten track, requiring the difficult admission of uncertainty- “I don’t know this… I need some help… I am lost… I'm scared.” Your pride and laziness are always wrapped up in very 'reasonable' excuses. But reason, reason, reason cannot- cannot- produce miracles! Reason cannot comprehend, still less produce moments of sublime beauty and grace. It is no match and certainly no substitute for the irrational power and immensity of Love to create new worlds, or to usher in the age of the Ideal Theatre. You need to give up the blaming, the questionings, the shaming, the denial, the excuses, the human neediness that characterises the egoic response to failure. It is now time to unseat reason (and when I say this I don’t mean just choose to be reckless- not that kind of UNreason!), and allow God to be your guide and compass. You must cede control and allow reason to step aside, and so discern what the heart of God is communicating to you. And then just do it. To the vast majority of people this is just madness, but to a true artist it is the only way. Genius has the guts to follow and obey the inner voice. In years to come the reasons for the guidance given may become clear, but for now it is vital just to trust that you know the direction you must walk, but not your destination. Otherwise you will die here waiting to be given a map that will never materialise. Keep moving in the direction God is pointing you to go, and trust that eventually you will find life and the living springs once more.
The other voice that complains and whinges to God- “You owe me. I did this for you… I did my exercises, studied for years, I learned my lines... I prayed to be able to serve you to the best of my ability… I love you, therefore you owe me” will keep you wandering in circles. You harbour the unconscious expectation that God has to be reasonable, that as long as you give Him what he asks of you you are entitled to something back. No. Your duty to God is to serve him no matter what the price, and to be willing to keep on giving, giving, giving until you're empty. His perfect wisdom has something to teach you in the anticipated desert experience, but you will not learn that lesson as long as you continue looking only for the answers in places you have already been. "I need Equity minimum... I deserve star billing... I deserve to hit that rich vein of inspiration after all the vocal exercises and meditation, prayer and Psychological gesture work I’ve done..." No. NO. Miracles are not 'fair' and certainly not reasonable!
But it’s time to grow up and just accept that life is never fair. You are not a character in a fairy tale, but never be ashamed of your calling, your vocation. You are a son of God. Give all of yourself to radiating compassion and devotion to your Source. There is no room now for yielding to fear or doubt anymore. Acting at its best replaces fear with love; judgment with compassion; separation with unity. That is your calling as an artist, and is perhaps a good definition of your deep soul purpose as a teacher and writer too. This is a very profound form of healing, and it is best achieved when you call upon the Higher Self. love transforms, love liberates and inspires, love enters into the object of its love and sees deeply, love forgives, it vindicates and encourages, it absolves and blesses us and its object. It turns its object into a thing of beauty.
Juliette Binoche, interviewed on TV last night by Alan Yentob immediately following her first night performance (alongside the Bangladeshi dancer Akram Khan) of In-I at the National Theatre, was asked if she could sum up her feelings about the work. She replied, “It’s all about giving. Love and giving.”
Uh huh.
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
Tally's Blood 3
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"I slept and dreamt that life was joy.
I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted and behold, service was joy."
Rabindranath Tagore
I have been listening in the car to Michael Chekhov's lectures on CD over the last few days, and what comes across to me so vividly, hearing him speak- much more so than in his writings in fact- is the true significance, depth and sheer beauty of his highly practicable spiritual wisdom. What he called 'the Love thing', his radical ideas of Giving ("...giving! Giving!!") and the 'expansion of the Soul' through the Imagination underpin his entire philosophy. The concepts of the Higher Ego and the transformative power of Divine Love were woven into every single aspect of his teaching. What a disservice the editors, critics, teachers, academics and biographers do when they neglect to appreciate the importance of those spiritual ideas to the maturation of the actor's development- opting instead to focus their attention on Chekhov's technical discoveries alone! Wonderful as they are, his legacy is far, far richer than just the Psychological Gesture, Physical Centres and the Imaginary Body exercises for which he is still most famous. Chekhov demonstated such extraordinary courage venturing as he did to share the 'crazy', 'simple' idea of Love and its primary importance to the art of the actor, especially with a deeply cynical and no doubt utterly bemused Hollywood of the mid-50s. I know he loathed the name of 'Mystic' being attached to him, but he is the closest the theatre has ever come to having one as their patron saint.
Tally's Blood is very obviously all about Love. That's really what attracted me to the play in the first place. Family love, friendship, romantic love, patriotic love, love of God, love of the past, etc. As I conduct the relaxation and psycho-physical warm-up exercises each day I coax the actors to focus on something or someone that their character happens to deeply love and then to express that love in an ardent PG. I ask them what as actors they most love about their work? and then get them to imagine inwardly a multiplication and an immense expansion of that love- connecting and merging it with the love their character has. The quality of the work produced is very, very high from those members of the cast who are willing to yield to this strange exercise. I am convinced that this simple shift and opening-up in our thinking can transform the humblest artist into a genius. I have been very moved by what I have seen from the actors already and we have only had eight rehearsals,. Progress has been rapid, and working with them is a joy. I'd like to think they are feeling as positive and excited as I am.
"I slept and dreamt that life was joy.
I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted and behold, service was joy."
Rabindranath Tagore
I have been listening in the car to Michael Chekhov's lectures on CD over the last few days, and what comes across to me so vividly, hearing him speak- much more so than in his writings in fact- is the true significance, depth and sheer beauty of his highly practicable spiritual wisdom. What he called 'the Love thing', his radical ideas of Giving ("...giving! Giving!!") and the 'expansion of the Soul' through the Imagination underpin his entire philosophy. The concepts of the Higher Ego and the transformative power of Divine Love were woven into every single aspect of his teaching. What a disservice the editors, critics, teachers, academics and biographers do when they neglect to appreciate the importance of those spiritual ideas to the maturation of the actor's development- opting instead to focus their attention on Chekhov's technical discoveries alone! Wonderful as they are, his legacy is far, far richer than just the Psychological Gesture, Physical Centres and the Imaginary Body exercises for which he is still most famous. Chekhov demonstated such extraordinary courage venturing as he did to share the 'crazy', 'simple' idea of Love and its primary importance to the art of the actor, especially with a deeply cynical and no doubt utterly bemused Hollywood of the mid-50s. I know he loathed the name of 'Mystic' being attached to him, but he is the closest the theatre has ever come to having one as their patron saint.
Tally's Blood is very obviously all about Love. That's really what attracted me to the play in the first place. Family love, friendship, romantic love, patriotic love, love of God, love of the past, etc. As I conduct the relaxation and psycho-physical warm-up exercises each day I coax the actors to focus on something or someone that their character happens to deeply love and then to express that love in an ardent PG. I ask them what as actors they most love about their work? and then get them to imagine inwardly a multiplication and an immense expansion of that love- connecting and merging it with the love their character has. The quality of the work produced is very, very high from those members of the cast who are willing to yield to this strange exercise. I am convinced that this simple shift and opening-up in our thinking can transform the humblest artist into a genius. I have been very moved by what I have seen from the actors already and we have only had eight rehearsals,. Progress has been rapid, and working with them is a joy. I'd like to think they are feeling as positive and excited as I am.
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