The Right Choice

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My Ego tends to drown out my still small voice even in prayer and meditation. My own egoic avoidance/distraction strategies typically include
Panic-mongering, and/or Flattery

-when it comes to major life-choices.

The question of whether I give up teaching and go back to acting, or just stay put is still troubling me. My ego keeps butting in; either warning me I will suffer financially/spiritually if I make the 'wrong decision', or it tries to convince me what I am doing is really great, how much I deserve recognition, approval, money, success, blah, blah. Discernment and inner alignment becomes impossible as my Ego just can’t seem to keep its trap shut. I can't get clear reception because of the static interference.

Freedom or service…? Creativity or security…? Love of art, or mature, responsible living…? Accountable to my talent? To God? To my heart… ? Common sense???
Aaaahhhgghhh!!!

It feels far TOO important right now I choose wisely :-( I guess what I really mean is I desperately need objectivity and detachment (if that's not a total paradox!) from my fear and my vanity, and be capable of resting quite content with whatever my heart/soul finally decides.

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Listening and Acting

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Two inspiring and thought-provoking snippets emerge from my recent reading, which I want to note here.

Firstly:

'Former CBS anchor, Dan Rather, had a tough time interviewing Mother Teresa.

“When you pray,” asked Dan, "What do you say to God?"

"I don't say any thing," she replied. "I listen."

Dan tried another attack. "Well, OK... when God speaks to you, then, what does He say?"

"He doesn't say anything... He listens."'


And from Quaker Faith and Practice (21.32)

"Along the paths of the imagination the artist and mystic make contact. The revelations of God are not all of one kind. Always the search in art, as in religion, is for rhythms of relationships, for the unity, the urge, the mystery, the wonder of life that is presented in great art and true religion."

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